English Assignment Number One

Esther's mix CD:

Tentative, System of a Down
Dreaming, System of a Down
Fiction (Dreams in Digital), Orgy
Porcelain, Red Hot Chili Peppers
Date Rape, Sublime
Crawling, Linkin Park
By Myself, Linkin Park
Passive Manipulation, White Stripes
All Apologies, Nirvana
Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana


Dreaming:
"You lost it all/ Why did you go there?/ From beyond you saw it all/ Why did you?/ She lost her mind/ Someone kicked her to the back of the line/ Dreaming of screaming/ Someone kick me out of my mind/ I hate these thoughts I can't deny."

I choose this song because of it's lyrics and the music. during the part that I picked out it slows and the two singers harmonize and it's beautiful. it's lyrics are obviously depressing, and remind me of Esther perfectly, "someone kick me out of my mind/ I hate these thoughts I can't deny" could be taken as her depression, though she didn't really show any emotion toward having the suicidal thoughts. "She lost her mind/ Someone kicked her to the back of the line" could be taken for Esther personally or for the entire female gender. For Esther, she was never good enough. her mother didn't think she could do anything that would support her, like writing. She seemed to me to always have an underlying thought that Esther was going to fail in anything she attempted to do. Regarding the remale gender as a whole, men thought women couldn't do anything as well as men could, so they were never listened to, or ignored.

Tentative:
"No one's gonna save us now/ Were you going to the bottom?/ We're going in a spiral to the ground/ No one's gonna save us now, not even God"

I choose Tentative because it talks about falling and not being saved. It's like Esther, in that she was the only person that could save herself. Depression is often symbolized with a dark spiral that one can't escape, and during a lot of the Bell Jar I couldn't predict whether or not she was going to survive until the end. The very last line, "no one's gonna save us now, not even God" strikes a key with me, because Esther had troubles believing in God throughout the book, which was bizzare for the 1950's.

Fiction (Dreams in Digital):
"She's lost in coma/ Intoxicated from the deep sleep/ Do you wonder what it's like being in a permanent imagination?/ Sleeping to escape reality/ She's nothing more than fiction/ She dreams in digital 'cause it's better than nothing"

This song talks about dreaming permanently, which is sort of like death. "She's lost in coma" is like Esther's depression, because it's very hard, nearly impossible in Esther's case and those like hers, to combat depression alone, which would leave one lost, unable to find a way out. Esther's fascination with death up until she attempts suicide is associated with the question Orgy asks, "Do you wonder what it's like being in a permanent imagination?" The lyric, "she's nothing more than fiction" made me automatically connect to Esther because she tried to write fiction and couldn't, but also because she doesn't feel like an actual human, something other than that....

Porcelain:
"Are you wasting away in your skin?/ Are you missing the love of your kin?/ Drifting and floating and fading away.../ Can you bear not to share with your child?/ Do you carry the moon in your womb?/ Someone said you're fading too soon"

This song particularly resembles Esther. She feels like she's dead inside, or at least is dying. This song is perfect for Esther in fact, because the lyrics I presented are basically the whole song (it's rather short). The music is slow and contemplative, almost tortuous, and the lyrics are moving. Esther is definitely missing the love of her kin; her father, who could've been a strong role-model, died when she was young, and her mother was smothering while being overly critical. I added the lyric about the child because motherhood was a big theme in the novel. Esther never thought she could handle a child, that children were another way men trapped women, and decieved them. The moon is a symbol for the feminine, and so is the womb, which makes that line feminine throughout. Esther is a very feminist person. Esther drifts, floats, and fades away.

Date Rape:
""Date Rape"

Let me tell you about a girl I know,
had a drink about a hour ago.
Sitting in a corner by herself, in a bar in downtown Hell.

She heard a noise and she looked through the door.
And saw a man she'd never seen before.
Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile.
Well, her heart raced as he walked in the door
And took an empty seat next to her at the bar.
"My brand new car is parked right outside. How'd ya like to go for a ride?"
And she said."Wait a minute I have to think."
He said, "That's fine. May I please buy you a drink"
One drink turned into 3 or 4 and they left and got into his car
and they drove away someplace real far.

Now babe the time has come.
How'd ya like to have a little fun?
And she said."If we could only please be on our way, I will not run."

That's when things got out of control.
She didn't want to, he had his way.
She said, "Let's Go"
He said, "No Way!"
Come on babe it's your lucky day.
Shut your mouth, were gonna do it my way.
Come on baby don't be afraid,
if it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid.

He finished up and he started the car
He turned around and drove back to the bar.
He said."Now baby don't be sad, in my opinion you weren't half-bad."
She picked up a rock.,threw it at the car, hit him in the head, now he's got a big scar.
Come on party people won't you listen to me.
Date Rape Stylee.

The next day she went to her drawer, look up her local attorney at law,
went to the phone and filed the police report and then she took the guy's ass to court.
Well, the day he stood in front of the judge he screamed, "She lies that little slut!"
The judge knew that he was full of shit and he gave him 25 years
And now his heart is filled with cheers.

One night in jail it was getting late.
He was butt-raped by a large inmate, and he screamed.
But the guards paid no attention to his cries.

That's when things got out of control.
The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny.
But that's the way it had to be.
They locked him up and threw away the key.
Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind,
even though he now takes it in the behind.

But that's the way it had to be.
They locked him up and threw away the key.
Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind,
even though he now takes it in the behind.
DATE RAPE!

She didn't want to [x4]
TAKE IT!"

I put all the lyrics in there because it tells a story, and the entire story is relevant to this analysis. In short, this story is about a girl who meets a guy at a bar and he gets her drunk and drives away with her. As the name depicts, he rapes her and then drives her back to the bar. The next day she calls her lawyer and sues him. He looses and goes to jail, where Karma gets him back. This song talks about a girl being strong and standing up for herself, which is the basic ideology of the entire feminist movement. Something Esther/Plath would be proud of (especially since it was written by a guy).

Crawling:
"Crawling in my skin/ These wounds they will not heal/ Fear is how I fall/ Confusing what is real/ There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface/ I can't seem to find myself again/ My walls are closing in"

This song is eerie. It talks about insecurity and anxiety, two things Esther had ample amounts of. The wounds that Esther Had wouldn't close, which paved the way for depression to walk right in. She was totally insecure, always second-guessing herself like with the tips in New York City. She confused what was real with what was fake like when she was walking into Gordon's electroshock therapy and thought everyone sitting in the lounge was a painting.

Passive Manipulation:
"Women, listen to your mothers
Don't just succumb to the wishes of your brothers
Take a step back, take a look at one another
You need to know the difference...
Between a father and a lover (repeat)"

This song is seriously feminist. It is the woman from White Stripes giving advice to women who listen to them. It tells women to not be submissive to their male companions and know the difference between their father, who tells you what to do when you're a child, and a lover, who suggests, but doesn't demand.

By Myself:
"Crawling"

[Chorus:]
Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem

[Bridge:]
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

[Chorus]

Discomfort,endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem..."

The song starts out like the listener was actually inside the singers head. It is like the book, it gives us an inside look to see what the hidden depths of the person are. He talks about how he's lost, he can't hold on, he's a failure. He puts on his daily facade, just like Esther did all those days before her attempted suicide. With all he tries to do, he can't seem to convince himself what is worth living in his life.

Smells Like Teen Spirit:
"She's self-assured/ I know, I know, a dirty word/ Overworked/ I feel stupid and contagious"

this song can be interpreted, in a stretch, to what I tried out. I can superimpose these lyrics on the feminist movement, because they worked so hard to get equal rights, and they were confident they could do it. there's also another part in here that reminded me about Esther, and that's the part when he says "I feel stupid and contagious" I imagine Esther felt stupid, or at least thought other people would think she's stupid, when she couldn't read or write, and contagious because she was ill, and since depression wasn't widely accepted in the 1950's, people outside might be a littel wary of getting near because she's 'sick'.

All Apologies:
"What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay
What else could I write
I don't have the right
What else should I be
All apologies"

This song is asking people what they think he should be like, because Kurt Cobain was different, like Esther/Plath. He aplogizes for being different, but I don't think he really means it. He is using satire, like Plath would, and it's effective. Esther goes through The Bell Jar confused and upset about her depression, but near the end gives up on it and stops trying to please other people. She focuses on herself, and unlike Cobain, she is possibly rehabilitated. I can't really say since the book ended before we knew that, though maybe it was done on purpose to show that no one ever really recovers from being depressed in that degree.